no, i'm not obsessed. why would you say that i'm obsessed? not obsessed at all. well maybe i'm a little obsessed. do you think i'm obsessed?

There's this story in my family about a microwave with a peel. This microwave was originally purchased in the early 80's and used daily in a busy kitchen by a great number of people. After a while, the family moved to another state and the microwave went with them; again, it was used daily by family and guests alike. In the early 90's, I moved into a small, unfurnished apartment and the microwave was donated to my cause (I needed cheap stuff!). You can imagine the condition it was in! Inside, it was clean as can be; outside, however, the black enamel finish and instrument panel had 10+ years of accumulated grease and grime. Neat freak that I was (and still am), I HAD to clean it. Much to my delight, the yuck just peeled right off!!! Seems the previous owner had not removed the protective plastic coating that had been applied at the factory! Underneath, it was like new!

Now, this could be a blog about my deliberately unnamed family member (you know who you are) and her reluctance to remove plastic coatings. This could be a blog about me being a neat freak. This could be a blog about cheap hand-me-downs. But it isn't. This is a blog about my compulsion (not obsession) with peeling.

"Hello. My name is Linda. And I'm a peeler."

In going about my daily routine, EVERYTHING is peeled. IMMEDIATELY! I have barely finished paying the cashier, but the new CD or DVD is unwrapped and the security tape has been removed including the sensor strip inside under the disk. Shrink-wrap doesn't stand a chance! Stickers? They'd better belong where they are, or else I'm takin' 'em off! Suffering from a nasty sunburn? Stay away from me or you'll be down to your middle-dermis in a heartbeat! God forbid I notice a little paint peeling (especially latex) (like in a certain sister's bathroom). I start to twitch at the site of it! It's all I can do to not pick it clean! (But I swear Julie, I never peeled your yellow walls!)

I try to keep my peeling hidden. My family and friends are aware. But not everyone can accept these kinds of needs. What would they say? They might not understand! They might think I'm wierd! They might laugh!


So try to imagine the torture
                                        THIS ------------>
has been causing me! There I am, moonlighting at Lowe's, at the Returns desk, waiting for customers. And I see that sign...
With its protective plastic coating still on...
And it's STARTING TO PEEL!

If I told you how many times I looked at it a day, you wouldn't believe me. I even rationalize to myself why it would be ok to peel it. "It would make the sign prettier." "It would be easier to read." "It wouldn't look so cloudy." But I know that I can't. I mustn't. I have to resist. No matter how badly I want to, I WILL NOT PEEL IN PUBLIC!!!

But really, I don't think I'm obsessed...